Lone Pairs

Although I have you, it is as though I am incomplete

You make me so happy and love me so much

And when I say “its not you, it’s me”, I mean it

You give me everything I could ask for and more, but still, I am empty

Not for one second did I doubt that we were soulmates, but still I am empty

You take me wherever I want and do whatever I ask, but still, I am empty

When we sleep together, the way you hold me, you caress me and what you do to me are inexplicable, but still,

Every time you tell me you love me, tell me I am beautiful, tell me I am worth it feel happy and complete for some time, but then I am empty again

I don’t know why I feel this way

Will this feeling ever go away?

Why do I feel incomplete though I have everything?

Why are you not enough?

I have tried everything but nothing works

There is a void where it should be filled with memories, love, and joy

Though I have these, I am still empty

This void eats away at my insides and grows bigger and bigger

It is like a virus that has plagued my body eating its host away until the host is completely burned out, consumed and empty

 

The Memories

The memories they haunt me

The memories of joy

The memories of when there was a bright sky

But now the memories are dull

And it is not like the times my life was full

People tell me to kill myself

And I say “I’m sorry, I tried”

But I’ll try again

So I pick up the knife

The feeling so familiar yet different at the same time

And I slice over and over again

Hoping it will take away all my sorrows like cocaine

But it won’t work

So till next time

I’ll just tell everyone I am completely fine