Because I Am A Girl

The first thing I was ever told was that I was a girl

I was told that I could never climb trees or ride bikes, but instead stay at home and play pretend with barbies because I was fragile

I was told to wait for prince charming because he would come and save me

I was told to dress up like a princess for halloween instead of a superhero because, god forbid, people would think that I was abnormal

I was told that girls like pink and boys like blue because that’s just the way things are

I was told that I could not play tennis because that simply was not something girls did

I was limited, restrained and constricted with no escape

All because I was a girl

I was told I had to walk a certain way, talk a certain way, and act a certain way because I should be the epitome of perfection

I was told I had to be pretty with flawless skin and a zero size body

I was told to watch what I eat because one extra piece of candy or one extra slice of pizza would make me undesirable

I was told my height had to be 5’6 and my weight had to 120 pounds, unattainable

I was told to be quiet when there was a serious discussion about politics going on, because my opinion did not matter

I was limited, restrained and constricted with no escape

All because I was a girl

I was told that I could not become a doctor because I am supposed to take care of the household

I was told that people could use me and take advantage of me, but I should still remain silent

I was told that I was a burden to my parents and the only way to get rid of me, was to marry me off

I was told that the best gift I could ever give someone was finding a good husband

I was told that I stood for a sex symbol, that people could just throw me out when the job was done

I was told that I could never be in charge of the finances of the family, because that is what guys do

I was told to wear turtlenecks and jeans (not the jeans that were too tight) because even a little bit of skin showing might put me at risk or might seem provoking to men

I was limited, restrained and constricted with no escape

All because I was a girl

Because although I am human, I am not equal

Because my gender comes before my abilities

Because my gender dictates my life from start to finish

Because people see my gender before they see the real me

Because I am a girl

And that’s just the way it is

 

 

 

 

My Dress, My Words, My Confidence

You treated me like I was a princess

Like I was royalty

But, would you do what you did to me if I was really royalty

Would you?

You objectified me

Acted like I was just like every other girl

My dress – provoking

My words – flirting

My confidence – overbearing

So you decided that it was okay

That it was okay to take everything I had away from me

My dress

And then my words

And finally my confidence

So, as I stood there staring into the mirror, I thought it was my fault

Because I made you do it

It was my dress, right?

Provoking

It was my words, right?

Flirting

It was my confidence right?

Overbearing

But, all along I knew it was you

This was your fault not mine

But somehow I convinced myself that it was me

Because if I spoke out

If I cried for help

The first words that would come out of someones’s mouth are “What were you wearing?”

And I want to tell them a dress

A dress mid-thigh, yellow, off shoulder with 6 inch black stilettos

They too will say that it is my fault

Because after all it was

MY dress

MY words

MY confidence

It was on me

You Do Not Define Me

I am not who I thought I was

Who I was raised to be

I was raised to walk with my head held high and my confidence even higher

I was raised to make sure my voice was louder than anybody’s in the room

I was raised to make sure that my dignity was kept at all times

I was raised to accept everyone for who they are

I was raised to need no validation in my life

But you, you

Did something to me

Made me different

You stripped me of my dignity

Silenced me

Made me your slave

And somehow, for some reason I obliged

Every time you came home drunk

Every punch you threw at my face

Every hand that went down my shirt and unhooked my bra

I thought it would be the last

I thought you loved me

I thought you wanted to see me grow

But instead you broke me

You kept me captive in a world of lies and assumption

You made me forget everything that I was taught

I was blinded your overwhelming love and affection

So I thought you were right for me

I left my family behind for you and you turn out like this

But it is over now

I am not going to take it anymore

You broke me

And hurt me

And beat me

And killed me

But now, I am stronger

You made me who I am and I am thankful for that

But please don’t think that I can’t rise up from the ruble

Don’t think that I can’t keep my head up straight and and put that crown back on my head

Because I am me

And no one can change that

Not even you

Just remember

You do not define me

 

A Special Bond

This picture was taken on September 16, 2017

 

This is one of the most beautiful moments I have ever captured as it shows the bond between a grandfather and his granddaughter. At this moment, he is vowing to protect the precious, little girl for the rest of his life. This is the moment which every girl should have. Even before she meets any other guy, it is comforting to know that there will be someone there who will never break your heart.

I have not been so lucky to have grandparents that were there for me all the time. They were there for as long as they could be and passed away when I was young.

The special relationship that people share with their grandparents is honestly mesmerizing. When their own children have grown up and had children, the grandparent get to enjoy bits and pieces of parenthood again.  They do not need to go to all the fights and the disciplining, now it is their turn to spoil the child: get them whatever they want, take them wherever they please, and do whatever they demand. And in all honesty, this may not seem like the best thing for us teenagers at this time, but when we grow older, these are the things that we are going to miss. Seriously.. take it from me.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is… cherish the time that you have with the people that you love because before you know it, it might be lost.

It has been lovely talking,

Nikhila

Hello World!!!

Hey everyone!!

My name is Nikhila and I am a student in high school now.  I was inspired to create a blog all about how life has treated me so far featuring: photography, rants, poems, articles, tributes, and just day to day encounters and happenings.

I just want this blog to be a forum where people can express their feelings without being judged, you know.. to feel like someone is listening.

This blog is very casual and I am completely open to suggestions and critiques, so please feel free to comment on any blog entries.

It has been lovely talking,

Nikhila